HaloAddict16

Normally I come across as smothering I think it's because I have so much love I want to give Yet I also just have this emptiness This giant pit in my chest So I throw everything I have at people Then I second guess myself And don't want to exist It's an ugly cycle One that I struggle to desist Even my best friends are at their wits end They say I'm better at a distance And I can't help but agree with them I see my toxic behavior I'm not sure how to fix it This depression is suffocating I have no energy left At this point I just want to quit Strong thoughts but it's not just words Christmas Eve I tried to disappear Hoped that it would work I

Oh sunshine, you bring light to my life Your smile turns my dreary world into one of bliss The girl who lives in my dreams occasionally One word and my armor splits No need for defenses, for you my heart permits The most beautiful melody escapes through your lips Only the special few get the honor of hearing your loving voice You speak, but most don't read the truth in those emotion filled eyes So enwrapped with your beauty, they have no idea what they've missed So distracted by your quick wit that they don't sink into your depths Not that I blame them When I met you I was so intimidated I couldn't believe the strength you emitted I craved

 It's crazy how 7 years later you still control me The fear and pain still a real difficulty It's slowly destroying my security I throw away every opportunity How could I have known that loving you would have such an affect on me? Your power is sickening It reminds me of strychnine My nerves are hypersensitive It's beyond agonizing Remember how every time I was around you my stomach would contract? Muscle memory never forgets It realized you were my personal disease Just drive the knife in and twist You poisoned me Then watched as I suffered With a ghost of a smile and a blood coated dagger Your wicked amusement never fully sated You took and

Ever find a person that you connect with effortlessly? It seems so natural to be with them Almost immediately any walls you had come down Finally, someone who you feel comfortable with You want them around all the time A soul mate But not the romantic kind Every day you walk around, feeling as if something is missing Until you find them and then it clicks That friend that you didn’t know you needed It’s as if you’ve known each other all your life The similarities between the two of you are astounding Almost as if you are the exact same person Quickly, your love for each other grows So protective of one another that any harsh